Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Subakie

Online | Search for a member

Subakie

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4713
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Subakie's page activity

Visits<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:03pm<b>nightdreamer13</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:24am<b>drokkkit</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:36pm<b>vernk</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:31pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:19am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:27pm<b>MAD01502</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:34am<b>Insomnis</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:56am<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:31am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:21pm<b>neonglostix</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:58am<b>Claire83</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:44pm<b>acommonman</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:05am

Liked!<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:29pm

Subakie's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Subakie's badges

Subakie's favorite FMLs

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40329) - you deserved it (4494)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

#21222525
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33825) - you deserved it (2296)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (15779)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51284) - you deserved it (4202)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46182) - you deserved it (3761)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40218) - you deserved it (6108)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46666) - you deserved it (3974)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43671) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40989) - you deserved it (4036)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52864) - you deserved it (7978)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48212) - you deserved it (4344)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (6677)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: