Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Subakie

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

Subakie

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6045
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Subakie's page activity

Visits<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:07pm<b>vernk</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:36pm<b>9ndfine</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:15am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:32pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:22am<b>gwho</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:08am<b>Pk93</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:04pm<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:42am<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:03pm<b>nightdreamer13</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:24am<b>drokkkit</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:36pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:19am

Liked!<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:29pm

Subakie's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Subakie's badges

Subakie's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (2334)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (3939)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25786) - you deserved it (3149)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (3011)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (3194)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18173) - you deserved it (35800)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

#21307421
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29605) - you deserved it (2687)

On 11/28/2014 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28204) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML

#21306764
64 comments

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (2468)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30928) - you deserved it (2968)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32324) - you deserved it (3541)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: