About StzaCrack666 : Atheist/Anarchist ska punk fan.
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StzaCrack666's favorite FMLs
Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML
by thekyledavid / 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
by LemonTree / 11/20/2014 at 6:32am / Hungary / Health
Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML
by workfordayzz / 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States / Work
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
by -.- / 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 3:40am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML
by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML
by embarrassedinretail / 01/20/2010 at 5:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Slash / 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
by Jerrrr / 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
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