Stocking

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Stocking

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1555
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Stocking's page activity

Visits<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:00pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 4:37pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:42am<b>BFons</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 1:16pm

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Stocking's favorite FMLs

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

by cosmonaut / 08/07/2009 at 5:18am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

by thanksalot / 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

by superman_not / 06/10/2009 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

by KBO / 06/08/2009 at 2:54am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

by laptopsRus / 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

by stillpoor / 03/14/2009 at 9:44am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

by language barriers / 02/12/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

by karma / 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

by indian:( / 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, on the bus, a young high school boy sat down next to me and started to chat me up. I thought it was cute until he asked me which high school I was attending. I'm 27, I'm married, I have a child. FML

by Rita / 12/09/2008 at 11:58pm / Kids

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

by AgathedeBlouse / 11/18/2008 at 1:42am / Animals