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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44363) - you deserved it (1068)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96958) - you deserved it (8076)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67382) - you deserved it (17982)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (41386)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (114427)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46381) - you deserved it (9500)
On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (73241)
On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57442) - you deserved it (14076)
On 03/15/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (3780)
On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (3780)
On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (5067)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55930) - you deserved it (19870)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (6895)
On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (6895)
On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16124) - you deserved it (535)
On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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