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SticksandSkins's favorite FMLs
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
by namenlos / 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by gaga / 05/22/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
by whatevershit / 05/13/2012 at 2:28am / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy
by davincourt / 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous
by James C / 04/18/2012 at 4:48am / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by argh / 03/20/2012 at 4:16am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
by kal / 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…