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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (12340)
On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (64588)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (3645)
On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59835) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (5522)
On 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by jessica - United States (Utah)
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (3101)
On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (7632)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40004) - you deserved it (7975)
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (4129)
On 11/20/2010 at 1:20am - love - by lorrilanee (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (5595)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15698) - you deserved it (9081)
On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25924) - you deserved it (24796)
On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (13498)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (50201)
On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2861) - you deserved it (44408)
On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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