This member hasn't filled in the description.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (161) - you deserved it (1755)
On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3754) - you deserved it (19292)
On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (2530)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (21787)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (13419)
On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (2172)
On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (10829)
On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (1360)
On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (2728)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (3753) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (2559)
On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States
Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14073) - you deserved it (17882)
On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (2511)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19238) - you deserved it (3106)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21856) - you deserved it (11705)
On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
