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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (3521)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (3941)
On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia
Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5411) - you deserved it (22702)
On 05/22/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by gaga - United States (California)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13542) - you deserved it (1726)
On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (866)
On 05/08/2012 at 10:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28379) - you deserved it (1554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (5455)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (1752)
On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17715) - you deserved it (2321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15345) - you deserved it (2845)
On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92) - you deserved it (1726)
On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3745) - you deserved it (19242)
On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (2484)
On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7427) - you deserved it (21729)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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