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Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (1297)
On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13212) - you deserved it (1873)
On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (6667)
On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (5170)
On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (1726)
On 02/09/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by justfriends - United States
Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (7032)
On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands
Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (1971)
On 02/07/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by courtneynaked (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (4491) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9079) - you deserved it (35500)
On 12/17/2011 at 8:30am - love - by SuperCoolGurl (woman) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (2708)
On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (6847)
On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (4088)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (3943)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (4973)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (1450)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 17 June 2013
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