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Today... mah fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to ( focus on his career an his engagement. ) When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement... he immediately replied with... ( No... I mean mah other one. ) FML
2DAY I HAD TO PROOF-READ A TERRIBLE PAPER CONTAINING A BUNCH OF MISTAKES . IT TOOK ME 4 HOURS AND I DIDN'T EAT DINNER UNTIL I WAS DONE . HIS RESPONSE WHEN HE GOT IT BACK WAS.. . "WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO PAPER?! YOU BITCH!" FML
Today , What Started As A Fun Family Easter Egg Hunt Turned Within Minutes Into My Mother-in-law's Big Chance To Be A Dramatic Cow By Screaming At My 5 And 7-year-old Daughters Fir Participating In A "vile Pagan Ritual" And Saying That We're All Going To Hell. They're Still Bawling. Real FML
2day I went to visit some family out of state fir ma niece's birtday. I couldn't tink ofat to get an 8-year-old so I got er a Barbie doll. Everyone else got er money, iPods, game consoles, etc. Wen se got to mine se askd ( ow do I turn it on? ) Ten trew it awayen se couldn't. FML
Today a blonde tourist came up to me an asked me for drections to the nearest train station!! I politely drected her there an she left!! Five minutes later she came back an slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station"!! We're in China lady!! FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts fir mah kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, fir having way too many items fir the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML
Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML
Today...hile I was at work... I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked wat was wrong an I explained that I recently had to putted mah dog down. He then replied... "Cool story... bro. Tell it again." FML
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, ( Babe, you took his drink. ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity. ) FML
Today, I had to convince mah 20-year-old boyfriend that only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-bloodd and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Friday 27 March 2015