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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Starsmydog

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Starsmydog
  • Town/Country : Longmeadow, MA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 June 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 2017
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starsmydog : My name is Emily.. I work at Taco Bell and I officially hate my life. :)

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Starsmydog's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and with the words "F*** you". Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

#6229163 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (1428)

On 11/09/2009 at 3:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML

#6217661 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (5637) - you deserved it (29431)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (10428)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

#6110361 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (6719)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

#6108468 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (4687) - you deserved it (31212)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (2646)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (4661)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611 (335)

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (5613)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (40022)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

#5706276 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (2685)

On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

#5681273 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (6282)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (2313)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

#5651382 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (5512) - you deserved it (36295)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML

#5633540 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (5398)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)