Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Stardew

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

Stardew

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3298
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Stardew : I like pickles.

Stardew's page activity

Visits<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:08am<b>Zeeennnaaa</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:55pm<b>annabethjackson4</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:36pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:04pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:01am<b>Camlin93</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:59am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:17pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:10pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:22am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 2:42am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:09am<b>supermoory</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:56pm<b>insulinshot</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 10:27am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:03pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:13am<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:38pm<b>ethan043</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:03am

Fucked!<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:35pm

Stardew's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Stardew's badges

Stardew's favorite FMLs

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23082) - you deserved it (3288)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35978) - you deserved it (11113)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

#20013987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27698) - you deserved it (1543)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by SHIIIIITTTT (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11492) - you deserved it (38336)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35394) - you deserved it (4413)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66984) - you deserved it (5514)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35354) - you deserved it (2507)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36889) - you deserved it (2467)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30528) - you deserved it (3966)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (7198)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (4870)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (3965)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33517) - you deserved it (6150)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: