Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Stardew

Offline (the 09/12/2015 at 6:15pm) | Search for a member

Stardew

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3669
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Stardew : I like pickles.

Stardew's page activity

Visits<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 3:33pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:20am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:08am<b>Zeeennnaaa</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:55pm<b>annabethjackson4</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:36pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:59am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:17pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:10pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:22am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 2:42am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 1:09am<b>supermoory</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:56pm<b>insulinshot</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 10:27am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 5:03pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:13am<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:38pm

Fucked!<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:35pm

Stardew's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Stardew's badges

Stardew's favorite FMLs

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47590) - you deserved it (3434)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52378) - you deserved it (8640)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63056) - you deserved it (13237)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54264) - you deserved it (4452)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81722) - you deserved it (4068)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72117) - you deserved it (4654)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69268) - you deserved it (5551)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46627) - you deserved it (12344)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (62507)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63109) - you deserved it (4166)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53201) - you deserved it (3923)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73216) - you deserved it (13957)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54052) - you deserved it (6346)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

#20687302
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (3781)

On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: