About Star928 : Hahahabananaha people think im weird.
But why be boring?
My life is just full of FML, guess that this is where I belong :3
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About Star928 : Hahahabananaha people think im weird.
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Star928's favorite FMLs
by AdriBAMF / 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
by Ohgreat / 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health
Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML
by newscomes / 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML
by ohgosh / 10/12/2009 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
by prickly / 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML
by rhythmbandit / 10/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I am the RA. FML
by pennyhater / 10/07/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
by mahlee / 10/06/2009 at 12:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
by Poop / 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by mushroommouth / 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc... and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personallities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 5:42am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML
by qwerty6 / 09/30/2009 at 2:17am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 1:17am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Kids
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched… Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something… Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk.…