About Star928 : Hahahabananaha people think im weird.
But why be boring?
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13275) - you deserved it (2437)
On 06/23/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Gremlin (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17172) - you deserved it (1840)
On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (23016)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (15718)
On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States
Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (2553)
On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17564) - you deserved it (2456)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (2407)
On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16564) - you deserved it (4291)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19418) - you deserved it (2236)
On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)
Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16470) - you deserved it (2054)
On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16470) - you deserved it (2054)
On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (3368)
On 06/20/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by meeks123 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21029) - you deserved it (1996)
On 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14133) - you deserved it (1206)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (2884)
Monday 17 June 2013
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