About StanSmith2013 : Hey everyone! I am a student studying Zoology at University.
My profile picture is my dog, but I am a huge classic car enthusiast!
Feel free to message me about anything :)
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44034) - you deserved it (9432)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27171) - you deserved it (35180)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (4470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (2432)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (4976)
On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54548) - you deserved it (9167)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (7981)
On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)
Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (3221)
On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (2039)
On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (57912)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52708) - you deserved it (4235)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States
Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (2487)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (6167) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/14/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Edgarillo - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (5541)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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