Australian, 16 years old, fan of Avenged Sevenfold, looks up to Miley Cyrus, is incredibly shy, and loves the colour pink.
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you totally deserved it (7977)
On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you totally deserved it (4396)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you totally deserved it (22891)
On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you totally deserved it (18812)
On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friend, her parents and I, drove 5 hours all the way to disneyworld, only to realize we had bought disneyland tickets. Disneyland is in California, 3000 miles away. We couldn't switch them out and we didn't have money to buy new ones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14042) - you totally deserved it (31471)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27095) - you totally deserved it (10546)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you totally deserved it (2126)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you totally deserved it (4220)
On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you totally deserved it (7832)
On 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm - money - by Lizzzyygurl (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you totally deserved it (9363)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you totally deserved it (3500)
On 09/02/2009 at 11:12am - work - by hoboman (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my fiance, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you totally deserved it (1240)
On 09/02/2009 at 10:47am - love - by BDayssuck (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27235) - you totally deserved it (7264)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you totally deserved it (25752)
On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - misc - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23734) - you totally deserved it (1343)
On 09/02/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by someone - Denmark (Kobenhavn)
