About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....
Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.
And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.
RUN!
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Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (1822)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14766) - you deserved it (1012)
On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17441) - you deserved it (1075)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14545) - you deserved it (1039)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States
Today, I thought it would be funny to cut my white trash uncle's rat-tail off. He thought it would be funny to break three of my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5997) - you deserved it (34177)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by umadbrosky - United States (Maryland)
Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (1737)
On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (1737)
On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (16426)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4926) - you deserved it (38756)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (4790)
On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (2037)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (2037)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35407) - you deserved it (4576)
On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13818) - you deserved it (1066)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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