About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....
Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.
And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.
RUN!
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Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27516) - you deserved it (4637)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (1426)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (1686)
On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24550) - you deserved it (8212)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11648) - you deserved it (33692)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (3668)
On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (5410)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (25770)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (4978)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (6916)
On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (4693)
On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (2074)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (3396)
On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16652) - you deserved it (4826)
On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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