Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SquishFish

Search for a member

SquishFish

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3744
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.


RUN!

SquishFish's page activity

Visits<b>weraru</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:14am<b>aquaticmammal624</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:36am<b>Alexis32</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:12pm<b>julako</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:15pm<b>badlucksabrina</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lifeeeeee</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:50am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:43pm<b>kcm99</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:34pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:38pm<b>tarv</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:54am<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 3:43am<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:29am<b>serge_n</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:44am<b>Zepset</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:46pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 5:34am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:21pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 2:12pm

SquishFish's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SquishFish's badges

SquishFish's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (25122)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)

Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML

#19287255
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (10145)

On 03/16/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by Winx - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42424) - you deserved it (3724)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML

#18862954
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9846) - you deserved it (40549)

On 01/20/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by sharky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21500) - you deserved it (5345)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (15906)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (2803)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

#18030008
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (4254)

On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (59030)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12282) - you deserved it (38804)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (16795)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

#17762690
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9649) - you deserved it (35753)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:37am - misc - by jj4320 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: