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SquishFish

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SquishFish
  • Town/Country : lost moon of poosh, the universe
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 975
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.


RUN!

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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SquishFish's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

#17457372
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (11808)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:25am - love - by badass - United States

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (2876)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17776) - you deserved it (2614)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

#17009779
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31911) - you deserved it (2182)

On 07/07/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by danielle887 - United States

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39224) - you deserved it (3006)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16824) - you deserved it (8186)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML

#15099087
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29654) - you deserved it (5151)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

#15000344
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (27490)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

#14908129
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (5584)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48191) - you deserved it (5263)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7564) - you deserved it (23819)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

#14447328
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27195) - you deserved it (6329)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:52am - love - by puggles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16663) - you deserved it (3933)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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