Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SquishFish

Search for a member

SquishFish

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3694
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.


RUN!

SquishFish's page activity

Visits<b>weraru</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:14am<b>aquaticmammal624</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:36am<b>Alexis32</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:12pm<b>julako</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:15pm<b>badlucksabrina</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lifeeeeee</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:50am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:43pm<b>kcm99</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:34pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:38pm<b>tarv</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:54am<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 3:43am<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:29am<b>serge_n</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:44am<b>Zepset</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:46pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 5:34am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:21pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 2:12pm

SquishFish's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SquishFish's badges

SquishFish's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

#19950603
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (2541)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm - kids - by ssydneyy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

#19950603
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (2541)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm - kids - by ssydneyy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
154 comments

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (1840)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37188) - you deserved it (4457)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15094) - you deserved it (29368)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

#19935393
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (8654)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:06am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (2369)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33325) - you deserved it (2840)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

#19928719
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (4305)

On 07/12/2012 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by lissysue1 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25949) - you deserved it (3550)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (32856)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (1862)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: