Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

SquishFish

Search for a member

SquishFish
  • Town/Country : lost moon of poosh, the universe
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1040
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.


RUN!

SquishFish's last visitors

MornaiZepsetarsenicalhumorOnlyAvailableIDMythicalPandaGenH2105AshaaFerreiraStorvollengMrClean17

SquishFish's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of SquishFish's badges

SquishFish's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

#19985136
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4091) - you deserved it (33739)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

#19985136
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4091) - you deserved it (33739)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

#19985136
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4091) - you deserved it (33739)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (1589)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (1589)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (1388)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you deserved it (2693)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (3799)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (2765)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (2765)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

#19974193
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (1461)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

#19972921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (1155)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by Raaaaage - United States (California)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (1996)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (13953)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: