About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....
Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.
And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.
RUN!
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Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45735) - you deserved it (7547)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16640) - you deserved it (1356)
On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16254) - you deserved it (1517)
On 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by mac_miller55 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (2033)
On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20313) - you deserved it (3057)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9693) - you deserved it (24697)
On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (1091)
On 07/30/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6349) - you deserved it (13112)
On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6349) - you deserved it (13112)
On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)
Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17397) - you deserved it (6053)
On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17397) - you deserved it (6053)
On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (5176)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15249) - you deserved it (1876)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)
Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15249) - you deserved it (1876)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4547) - you deserved it (32065)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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