SquishFish

Search for a member

SquishFish

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8671
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.


RUN!

SquishFish's page activity

Visits<b>fader402</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:11pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:29pm<b>californian21</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 7:00am<b>windyouthere</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:11pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:00am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 11:46am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:29am<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:46am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:21am<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:30am<b>Muerteds</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:28pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:57pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:43am<b>hafyyyy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:51am<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:34pm<b>spencer4148</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:25am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:05am<b>saidaswear</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:44am

Fucked!<b>Myorafield</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 8:37am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 6:41am

SquishFish's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SquishFish's badges

SquishFish's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

by SHIIIIITTTT / 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

by ice cream dude / 08/10/2012 at 9:58am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 10:49am / United States / Love

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

by anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm / Australia / Health

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 3:50pm / United States / Love