About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....
Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.
And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.
RUN!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12908) - you deserved it (8526)
On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17167) - you deserved it (1201)
On 08/03/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by Lara (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (1805)
On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (9984)
On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (9984)
On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (7232)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (7535)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16402) - you deserved it (1338)
On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16211) - you deserved it (1511)
On 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by mac_miller55 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15610) - you deserved it (2031)
On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (3053)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9652) - you deserved it (24535)
On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17570) - you deserved it (1089)
On 07/30/2012 at 2:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6336) - you deserved it (13056)
On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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