Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SquishFish

Search for a member

SquishFish

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4021
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.


RUN!

SquishFish's page activity

Visits<b>weraru</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:14am<b>aquaticmammal624</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:36am<b>Alexis32</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:12pm<b>julako</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:15pm<b>badlucksabrina</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lifeeeeee</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:50am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:43pm<b>kcm99</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:34pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:38pm<b>tarv</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:54am<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 3:43am<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:29am<b>serge_n</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:44am<b>Zepset</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:46pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 5:34am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:21pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 2:12pm

SquishFish's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SquishFish's badges

SquishFish's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41745) - you deserved it (4795)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (2120)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

#20013987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (1421)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by SHIIIIITTTT (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (3860)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

#20009087
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30051) - you deserved it (3999)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (5779)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20007517
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (2636)

On 08/07/2012 at 10:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

#20006687
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20923) - you deserved it (7098)

On 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm - health - by anonymous - Australia

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (1789)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8038) - you deserved it (30008)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML

#20005989
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/06/2012 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: