Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SquishFish

Search for a member

SquishFish

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3586
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About SquishFish : About me: I love fish custard, Doctor who, obscenely long scarves, and I hate pears. I love legend of Korra and Avatar :) my favorite web series are VGHS and Most Popular Girls in School. I want to open up y own bakery someday, however I will never serve anything with pears in it.....

Amy: I started to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.

And five, very important, five. Don't let me eat pears. I *hate pears*. John Smith is a character I made up, but I won't know that. I'll think I *am* him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don't want to wake up from being human and taste that.


RUN!

SquishFish's page activity

Visits<b>weraru</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 12:14am<b>aquaticmammal624</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:36am<b>Alexis32</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:12pm<b>julako</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:15pm<b>badlucksabrina</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 10:29pm<b>lifeeeeee</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:50am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 2:43pm<b>kcm99</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:34pm<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:38pm<b>tarv</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 9:54am<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 3:43am<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:29am<b>serge_n</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 3:44am<b>Zepset</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 10:46pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 5:34am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:21pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 2:12pm

SquishFish's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SquishFish's badges

SquishFish's favorite FMLs

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17772) - you deserved it (4017)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (9048)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6868) - you deserved it (24472)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (2286)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (4678)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23936) - you deserved it (1537)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8297) - you deserved it (51638)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6706) - you deserved it (46408)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

#20057019
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (4066)

On 09/04/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by gingerbetty - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (27653)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (2702)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20537) - you deserved it (4170)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31187) - you deserved it (6100)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

#20045631
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30011) - you deserved it (9726)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: