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SqueakyChipmunk

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SqueakyChipmunk
  • Town/Country : Dallas, Texas
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 5140
  • Number of comments : 2533
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 375 posted

About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.

1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.

SqueakyChipmunk's last visitors

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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (14966)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML

#19824266
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16936) - you deserved it (2860)

On 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by noquiero (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17576) - you deserved it (920)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

#19797728
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19307) - you deserved it (2005)

On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

#19791305
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7754) - you deserved it (24699)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (5871)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15756) - you deserved it (6759)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21262) - you deserved it (1841)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML

#19661791
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (2713)

On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14956) - you deserved it (3383)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (4358)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6229) - you deserved it (47547)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

#19637548
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19767) - you deserved it (1521)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by Unhappymothersday - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12996) - you deserved it (23310)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

#19620851
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15258) - you deserved it (1284)

On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)



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