About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.
1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.
About SqueakyChipmunk :
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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs
Today, someone rang my doorbell. The moment I opened the door, a smell not unlike a cascading torrent of rotting flesh and urine hit my nostrils. I stood there for an eternity as a homeless man leaned on my door and desperately tried to convince me to buy an array of scrap metal from him. FML
by noquiero / 06/21/2012 at 2:13pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by gabby / 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm / United States / Holidays
by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by a chick in California / 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SwimmingInFear / 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
by alexo / 05/23/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Transportation
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
by angry girlfriend / 05/22/2012 at 10:32am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by Rebecca / 05/21/2012 at 10:11am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Great. / 05/18/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Montana) / Love
by Unhappymothersday / 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
by AmatureLitCritic / 05/14/2012 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…