SqueakyChipmunk

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SqueakyChipmunk

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9732
  • Number of comments : 2534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 375 posted

About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.

1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.

SqueakyChipmunk's page activity

Visits<b>Celestialfur</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 9:12pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:14am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 5:39pm<b>epicgamer</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 1:33am<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:25pm<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:45pm<b>Knaxer</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 2:49pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:45am<b>UPTDraco</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:32pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:43pm<b>squilliam214</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 3:45pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:37am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 3:20am<b>raven83</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 7:38am<b>bazookajoey</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:22pm<b>kingshelly</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 5:48am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:55pm<b>hernanjaimes_</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:17am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:50am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:20am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:00am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:27am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:16am<b>AmIReallyRenee</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:19pm<b>JCX2</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:22am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:02pm<b>jadeeypo</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:36pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:52pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>KrisTeaNah</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:41am

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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

by Luna / 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:00am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

by yeastly / 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

by deadman / 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

by scorpionsurviver / 07/08/2012 at 5:47am / United States / Animals

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

by NoMagicMike / 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy