About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.
1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.
About SqueakyChipmunk :
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SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 6:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by FutureMarine3658 / 08/08/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
by Alisha / 08/07/2012 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 10:49am / United States / Love
by anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm / Australia / Health
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
by shastadoe / 08/06/2012 at 2:37am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Kids
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
by MAC. / 08/04/2012 at 5:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by alyssabree42 / 08/04/2012 at 2:56am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 6:50pm / Mexico (Tabasco) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…