About SqueakyChipmunk : I disappeared briefly, due to work and other stuff, but I've returned!
Thanks to lilhellian, I now have a female baby Pomeranian chipmunk named Joey. FUCK SCIENCE.
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.
1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) I think I've been on here long enough to where everybody reads my comments in a squeaky voice. If you don't, you need to start. OR DIE.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15378) - you deserved it (2001)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16729) - you deserved it (1441)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States
Today, I received my best compliment of the year so far when an ER doctor commented positively on the clarity of my urine sample. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (1302)
On 07/30/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (897)
On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
I agree, your life sucks (7949) - you deserved it (27213)
On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18916) - you deserved it (5885)
On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (2295)
On 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm - love - by Itstrickyyxx (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30143) - you deserved it (6962)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6306) - you deserved it (15844)
On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (1402)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4684) - you deserved it (45966)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18457) - you deserved it (11918)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5287) - you deserved it (30086)
On 07/22/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Roma-Jay - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (1990)
On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)
Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17596) - you deserved it (1801)
On 07/20/2012 at 4:26pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
