SqueakyChipmunk

Search for a member

SqueakyChipmunk

16Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10212
  • Number of comments : 2534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 375 posted

About SqueakyChipmunk :
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.

1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) You are legally required to read everything I say in a squeaky voice, or be faced with a court summons.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.

SqueakyChipmunk's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:56am<b>pacersarelove</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 1:55am<b>srhoa01</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:54pm<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 5:11pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:43pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:53pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 11:04am<b>mrcurtis</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:45am<b>adj14</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 3:30pm<b>Sierra120</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 2:03pm<b>rivaraven</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:30pm<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:53am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:53pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 7:27pm<b>slightlyadulty</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 12:09pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 5:43am<b>mrcurtis</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:50am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:20am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:00am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:27am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:47pm<b>AmIReallyRenee</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 9:19pm<b>JCX2</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:22am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:02pm<b>jadeeypo</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:36pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:52pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>KrisTeaNah</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:41am

SqueakyChipmunk's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of SqueakyChipmunk's badges

SqueakyChipmunk's favorite FMLs

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

by future missing person maker person thingy / 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

by iblamethetories / 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Money

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

by monkers / 10/06/2012 at 3:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

by staticman101 / 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

by Lisa / 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

by liveviathetredmill / 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

by supapimpin / 09/25/2012 at 11:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

by Missusluv313 / 09/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

by FastFoodWaiter / 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work