About SqueakyChipmunk : I disappeared briefly, due to work and other stuff, but I've returned!
Thanks to lilhellian, I now have a female baby Pomeranian chipmunk named Joey. FUCK SCIENCE.
http://squeakychipmunk.tumblr.com/ My Blog. CLICK IT.
1) Like my sense of humor? ADD ME ON FACEBOOK MOTHAFUCKA!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/squeaky.thechipmunk
Twitter: Fuck you, fuck Twitter.
2) Squeak squeak, mother fucker.
2.5) I think I've been on here long enough to where everybody reads my comments in a squeaky voice. If you don't, you need to start. OR DIE.
3) I have a gift for you in my pants. It's not a toaster. Okay, it is a toaster...
4) Swag, YOLO, sucks for you and text talk will get you mauled.
5) The next sentence is false.
6) The previous sentence is true.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16270) - you deserved it (3158)
On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17344) - you deserved it (1095)
On 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by XYZee - United States (Georgia)
Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3215) - you deserved it (21440)
On 08/20/2012 at 4:55am - misc - by LOLOLOLOL (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (3520)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18840) - you deserved it (3512)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by youre dumped shitforbrain (woman) - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)
Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13139) - you deserved it (3952)
On 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3606) - you deserved it (10994)
Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17552) - you deserved it (1354)
On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (1620)
On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (14882)
On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was doing my laundry and I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (13812)
On 08/17/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Megan - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15190) - you deserved it (4767)
On 08/17/2012 at 12:08am - love - by SquishFish - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17264) - you deserved it (200)
On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4389) - you deserved it (10968)
On 08/09/2012 at 6:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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