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Squeaknique

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Squeaknique

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 620
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Squeaknique's page activity

Visits<b>gillyman</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:51pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:22pm

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Squeaknique's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34325) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45843) - you deserved it (2820)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (4278)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41490) - you deserved it (6217)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (15607)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20262) - you deserved it (60869)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44716) - you deserved it (5610)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (3765)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (9554)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (15415)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (4598)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and I on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know". Thanks Facebook. FML

#15098063
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30061) - you deserved it (7367)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by ruinedmoment (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9411) - you deserved it (49350)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

#15011813
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (3798)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6119) - you deserved it (60237)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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