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Spitfire

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Spitfire

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 February 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3610
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Spitfire : So I'm here to read the funny, sad, offensiev and stupid stories of FML.

Spitfire's page activity

Visits<b>random_dude42</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:26pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 10:25pm<b>EllieMolloy</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 2:29pm<b>ShadowDragon</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:05am<b>Tehalon</b> - the 03/08/2009 at 1:56pm<b>thebaroness1984</b> - the 03/06/2009 at 9:41pm

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Spitfire's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125559) - you deserved it (9369)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125559) - you deserved it (9369)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125559) - you deserved it (9369)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

#3266554
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10621) - you deserved it (73158)

On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66249) - you deserved it (2913)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8941) - you deserved it (115136)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63137) - you deserved it (26304)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

#293616
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87016) - you deserved it (3594)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134876) - you deserved it (20210)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16160) - you deserved it (65387)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (264031) - you deserved it (48302)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33171) - you deserved it (96660)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142052) - you deserved it (15945)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (41584)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50051) - you deserved it (39514)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)



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