So I'm here to read the funny, sad, offensiev and stupid stories of FML.
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4687) - you totally deserved it (21634)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4567) - you totally deserved it (21893)
On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21312) - you totally deserved it (3055)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16890) - you totally deserved it (2189)
On 12/17/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you totally deserved it (1551)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you totally deserved it (1061)
On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3862) - you totally deserved it (16233)
On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)
Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you totally deserved it (1546)
On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you totally deserved it (2564)
On 12/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Will (man) - United States
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5430) - you totally deserved it (18034)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you totally deserved it (994)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16326) - you totally deserved it (7689)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4191) - you totally deserved it (17467)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3846) - you totally deserved it (38447)
On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
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On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
