About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (8703)
On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (21133)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30474) - you deserved it (5035)
On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9292) - you deserved it (18155)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9292) - you deserved it (18155)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10715) - you deserved it (24912)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:54am - misc - by wearingshorts - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (6375)
On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (18915)
On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the 90s. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (6515)
On 08/17/2010 at 12:59am - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37111) - you deserved it (3321)
On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (13356)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (27026)
On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States
Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6738) - you deserved it (24363)
On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (4908)
On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6163) - you deserved it (40864)
On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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