About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (3909)
On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (37217)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24148) - you deserved it (4130)
On 11/20/2010 at 1:20am - love - by lorrilanee (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7244) - you deserved it (33110)
On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50064) - you deserved it (2525) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21811) - you deserved it (2606)
On 11/10/2010 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Cordoba)
Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14905) - you deserved it (19836)
On 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm - love - by yummy(: - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (4062)
On 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm - kids - by idiot - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16516) - you deserved it (4404)
On 10/28/2010 at 2:39am - animals - by katie06 - United States
Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (2131)
On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (5184)
On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)
Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (2543)
On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2587)
On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (29039)
On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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