About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (3932)
On 03/21/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by Unlovedchild -
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37755) - you deserved it (3336)
On 03/21/2011 at 3:07am - misc - by kelly (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29479) - you deserved it (16144)
On 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by prdept. (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (4504)
On 03/05/2011 at 9:19am - intimacy - by mrssagdiyev (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (34926)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (4372)
On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22189) - you deserved it (3122)
On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47885) - you deserved it (3376)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, I had a job interview at 9:00am. I left at around 8:30am, and as soon as I got in the car to drive to the interview, I checked my phone again, and it said 10:33. My boyfriend had decided to change the time on my clock as a "joke." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (3211)
On 01/30/2011 at 8:43am - misc - by catsofly7 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (5005)
On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58043) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19138) - you deserved it (1846)
On 01/08/2011 at 7:22pm - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (6574)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
