About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
The rules are the rules
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (15542)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm - health - by Laci (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13891) - you deserved it (39681)
On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38635) - you deserved it (2569)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37689) - you deserved it (4310)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36139) - you deserved it (5445)
On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (3782)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71673) - you deserved it (5450)
On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71673) - you deserved it (5450)
On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (16039)
On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57757) - you deserved it (10147)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (52191)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (896)
On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16135) - you deserved it (51424)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37498) - you deserved it (3082)
On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (7410)
On 04/09/2011 at 7:40am - misc - by Tweety (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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