About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
The rules are the rules
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16302) - you deserved it (29488)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (27441)
On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (27441)
On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52066) - you deserved it (2574)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (11758)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (4314)
On 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Elizabeth (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (79180)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (4862)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (57424) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (57424) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24046) - you deserved it (15239)
On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States
Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (2574)
On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54338) - you deserved it (4980)
On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (2917)
On 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Switzerland (Vaud)
Friday 24 May 2013
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