About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
The rules are the rules
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (4000)
On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30492) - you deserved it (6435)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34369) - you deserved it (5454)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (2882)
On 11/03/2011 at 4:06pm - money - by oneillrox - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (5603)
On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (18160)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (32350)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42552) - you deserved it (4472)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23342) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16283) - you deserved it (1592)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34227) - you deserved it (4751)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35464) - you deserved it (2966)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - intimacy - by BlootheBawss - United States (Florida)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (7794)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (1495)
On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (2411)
On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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