About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
The rules are the rules
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29793) - you deserved it (14461)
On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45406) - you deserved it (16972)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by whybia (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12723) - you deserved it (36839)
On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (4950)
On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14769) - you deserved it (1449)
On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14756) - you deserved it (10093)
On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version
Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13134) - you deserved it (1489)
On 12/21/2008 at 7:14am - misc - by Phil - Sent from mobile version
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27444) - you deserved it (6159)
On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57122) - you deserved it (14220)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:27am - love - by Jonathan -
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (74769) - you deserved it (30752)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France
Monday 20 May 2013
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