About SpicyDuck : Why does FML have a relationship status thing in your profile, but it's hidden?
As flattering as the messages I get from time to time on here are, this isn't a dating site guys. Messaging me based on the the picture you see makes you look like an ass.
Talk to me all you want, but you don't have to mention my appearance to get my attention.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
The rules are the rules
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7459) - you deserved it (37937)
On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (1858)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Shobz (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8125) - you deserved it (42362)
On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16306) - you deserved it (20525)
On 10/09/2009 at 3:51am - money - by jeffswife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6383) - you deserved it (88597)
On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17898) - you deserved it (33721)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6499) - you deserved it (17372)
On 09/21/2009 at 3:08pm - intimacy - by dontpanic (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I came to the realization, while taping cardboard models together, that I was paying $15,000 a year to tape cardboard models together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12435) - you deserved it (20738)
On 09/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by Elliott123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (14983)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38929) - you deserved it (11466)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7088) - you deserved it (47856)
On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98149) - you deserved it (23536)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54691) - you deserved it (12531)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (92907)
On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93883) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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