Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SpicyDuck

Search for a member

SpicyDuck

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8804
  • Number of comments : 357
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About SpicyDuck : Today, you tried to hit on me thinking this was a dating site. FML

SpicyDuck's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGuyWhoTalks</b> - 2 hours ago<b>mylifebitches666</b> - 22 hours ago<b>ostfaiz</b> - yesterday at 6:10am<b>boostedc</b> - yesterday at 4:10am<b>xomeowitsj</b> - yesterday at 4:03am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - yesterday at 3:18am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - yesterday at 3:13am<b>A07</b> - yesterday at 3:13am<b>sexyd17</b> - yesterday at 1:12am<b>Ltturner234</b> - yesterday at 12:57am<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - yesterday at 12:24am<b>inner_peace</b> - yesterday at 10:09pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - yesterday at 7:43pm<b>lurch87</b> - yesterday at 5:50pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - yesterday at 5:37pm<b>MortenM</b> - yesterday at 5:21pm<b>TheElBurrrito</b> - yesterday at 5:04pm<b>killer0689</b> - yesterday at 4:43pm

SpicyDuck's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SpicyDuck's badges

SpicyDuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my lost iPhone earbuds. In the cat litter box. I am 100% sure that they passed through my cat to get there. FML

#12002480
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29017) - you deserved it (4209)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:34pm - animals - by brentkd - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

#11968011
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (4118)

On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13517) - you deserved it (36817)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

#11831310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11391) - you deserved it (65109)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (23659)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
510 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14789) - you deserved it (236055)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13995) - you deserved it (33120)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

#9040804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (8838)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (3155)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10838) - you deserved it (20080)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35359) - you deserved it (2518)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7710) - you deserved it (26040)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (19236)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

#7405426
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9309) - you deserved it (33434)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:57pm - love - by IceMage (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35237) - you deserved it (4430)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: