About Speedylunar : Just me :)
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14210) - you deserved it (2336)
On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15523) - you deserved it (2909)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12725) - you deserved it (2951)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (25288)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (5469)
On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5642) - you deserved it (17182)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6735) - you deserved it (18197)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26495) - you deserved it (7177)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14046) - you deserved it (3152)
On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3068) - you deserved it (60479)
On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States
Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (1787)
On 05/02/2012 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (37160) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5959) - you deserved it (16501)
On 05/01/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (2636)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5475) - you deserved it (60000)
On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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