Sparklybee

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Sparklybee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 243
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sparklybee's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 4:13pm

Sparklybee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Sparklybee's favorite FMLs

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

by mortified / 01/22/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

by fmlalways / 01/22/2011 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

by gingerninja / 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving to my company picnic with 85 lbs of meat in the back seat, and 1 gallon of homemade BBQ sauce and mustard in large pans riding shotgun. As I drove down a steep hill, the BBQ sauce pan slid forward, hit the glove box and exploded in my front seat. FML

by Username / 09/26/2010 at 8:50pm / Transportation

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy