Sparkelz_NoSpark

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Sparkelz_NoSpark

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1291
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Sparkelz_NoSpark's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Sparkelz_NoSpark's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

by Puick / 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

by Cat Piss / 12/15/2013 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

by >.> / 12/12/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML

by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

by Lemurcat / 12/11/2013 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous