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SparkOfJade

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SparkOfJade
  • Town/Country : Washington D.C., USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 375
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SparkOfJade : Award winning, professional, pole dancer and IT consultant in Washington D.C.

I work and live in DC where I'm a consultant for a large IT firm. In my spare time I also teach pole dance for a respected studio and hold several titles from all over the mid-Atlantic, where I compete.

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SparkOfJade's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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SparkOfJade's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

#17780072
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (6044)

On 09/19/2011 at 11:56am - work - by Lexiebear27 - United States

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30023) - you deserved it (8710)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45470) - you deserved it (2684)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29013) - you deserved it (86362)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to pay a surprise visit to my family after I got some work leave. I drove over and knocked on the door, and a young couple answered. Apparently, my entire family decided to move to Texas, and didn't bother to tell me. FML

#17009779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (2827)

On 07/07/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by danielle887 - United States

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

#16616782
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you deserved it (2786)

On 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm - misc - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

#16426904
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63202) - you deserved it (3603)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by efff my life. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70753) - you deserved it (3925)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14115) - you deserved it (20672)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28098) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48151) - you deserved it (7499)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore



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