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Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (4655)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (3554)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12445) - you deserved it (1297)
On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6752) - you deserved it (17240)
On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41492)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (2843)
On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41043) - you deserved it (5589)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35282) - you deserved it (4179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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