Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SouthernPride95

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

SouthernPride95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2247
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About SouthernPride95 : I drive a big ole truck i l'm just a bible thumpin redneck if you don't like it tough i like to wave the rebel flag around and i like to fish i also like to watch Dale Jr race every sunday in NASCAR i also dip good ole Copenhagen the best dip in the world

SouthernPride95's page activity

Visits<b>MattZug</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 3:04pm<b>melpower</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:54am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:10pm<b>josexy</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:57am<b>Whishywash</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:50am<b>vettvixen</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:11am<b>graceface1031</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:34pm<b>PoisonOrchid</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:07am<b>ksktwin84</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:30am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 3:05am<b>IamFrench</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:06am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:42am<b>stargazer091</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:11pm<b>ohhthatsjay</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:06pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:33pm<b>ShinyKitty13</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:07am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:08am

SouthernPride95's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of SouthernPride95's badges

SouthernPride95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

#16632330
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39115) - you deserved it (2804)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (16317)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML

#16376796
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33437) - you deserved it (3963)

On 05/27/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (3719)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32267) - you deserved it (3593)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40275) - you deserved it (11375) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

#15675353
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33279) - you deserved it (9066)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

#15661688
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35794) - you deserved it (3149)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by faza4327 (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

#15381782
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19179) - you deserved it (61930)

On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

#15202722
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32455) - you deserved it (4936)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

#15202722
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32455) - you deserved it (4936)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

#15115506
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29620) - you deserved it (3928)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by gumpy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41828) - you deserved it (8707)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

#14841865
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35138) - you deserved it (3652)

On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36312) - you deserved it (4801)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: